I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize