I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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