Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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