YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
