a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
