You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
