Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
