well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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