I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize