Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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