She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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