Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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