I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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