Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I came so hard my ears popped.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
