I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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