hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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