I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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