Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
