My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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