just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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