weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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