I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
