I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
