just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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