i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
