I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
