Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
