Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
