Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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