I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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