3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
