He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
