I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize