We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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