so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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