Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I want a musical about memes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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