Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
