Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
