i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
