If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
