FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
