Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
