If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
