Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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