Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
