I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
