I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
