People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
