are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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