go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
