i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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