Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
