I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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