Plan B is the new Plan A
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
