She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
