She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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