I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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