Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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