Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
