And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
