Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
