she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
