My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
